As I was walking down the alley between Boylston Street and Newbury, I heard screams. On Gloucester St, I found dozens of half-naked santas, elves, and reindeer running down the street. I captured them–as well as my finger–in these photos…
HAPPY HOLIDAYS BOSTON!!!
About a month ago, one of my roommates, the mighty Lou Ulrich, played a show at The Foundation Room, a members-only club attached to the House of Blues on Lansdowne St in Boston. His band was able to bring a number of guests to the club, so the party could really be hopping–and so the members would have more beautiful people to look at. So, of course, Vanessa, Josh Buckley and I made the scene.
Here are Josh and Vanessa, sitting in a room strangely pimped out in Hindu art:
On one end of the room was a huge golden statue of Nataraja (”Lord of the Dance”), a dipiction of the Hindu god, Shiva, balancing on the back of what I thought was a baby, but turns out to be a demon dwarf symbolizing ignorance. Either way, it was a pretty creepy looking statue. Here’s a similar one from the Wikipedia page:
I think if I ever become rich (or even just not dirt poor), I am gonna get me a membership and show up wearing a smoking jacket or one like this:
Ah, now that would be the life…
Apparently, being King of the Universe is not enough to make ends meet anymore. So, God relocated to Florida, and he’s moonlighting as a commercial trucker. He even put the kid to work again. (Personally, I think the thorny crown hanging on the top of the cross is a nice touch.)
Joking aside, what I really want to know is whether the owner, Stephen English, is just a highly spiritual man or does he really think he’s God??? Either way, maybe the sign above should read, “Cuckoo, Florida.”
Growing up one of only a few Jewish kids in Hull, I was no stranger to anti-semitism. There was the time that I walked into the cafeteria in 7th grade with another Jewish kid and got beaned by a handful of pennies. Then, in 9th grade, my English teacher announced a quiz. When I reminded him it was going to be Yom Kippur, he replied, “Phfff!… You Jews and your holidays.” And then, in eleventh grade, I visited concentration camps in Poland and wrote an essay about my experiences. I showed a social studies teacher who commented that he was happy I talked about the 12 million who died as a result of the war (rather than singling out that 6 million of that number were Jews who where friggin’ systematically exterminated). So, I was not surprised to read this blog post and this Patriot Ledger article about a Randolph, MA school board member who went all David Duke on a Jewish school principal that requested 5 days of bereavement leave.
The real money quotes are these:
“It is not the standard in industry,” Silverman quoted Kenney as saying. “Besides, don’t you Jews plant them within 24 hours?”
and…
“I don’t see any side curls on your head, so what the hell do you need five days of bereavement leave for?”
Earlier today, I was sitting outside with some friends and enjoying the amazing Boston weather. I spotted a picture on the ground that I thought to be some religious pamphlet. I expected to see a likeness of Jesus on one side and a prayer on the other or something like that. Instead, it turned out to be this…
That’s right! It is a laminated photo of a tiger’s backside, showing all he has to offer. (At least, I think it’s a he???) I just want to know what kind of person walks around with a laminated picture of a tiger’s ass???
Anyway, I knew I had to take it. My only fear was getting hit by a car on the walk home and having to explain to the EMTs what I was doing rolling with a laminated animal picture instead of an ID!
Despite the fact that I consider myself an atheist (and as I pointed out, a memeber of the most distrusted minority in the US), I’d like to wish my fellow Jews and non-Jews alike a very happy Hanukkah. Ah, the memories of lighting candles, the smell of potato latkes, gifts, gelt and family gatherings. In college, we used to refer to a specific drug-related phenomenon as the Hanukkah bowl. Nowadays, it means very little to me–apart from some holiday greetings from friends and family.
Oh, but before you feel too comfortable, remember this: there are anti-semites EVERYWHERE! The world is an icy-cold place for a Jew. Here’s some proof…
On Friday, a friend asked me to join him for a Chilean meat sandwich at Chacarero at Downtown Crossing. The weather was kind of crappy, but reluctantly I went with him. When we got to Washington Street there were a lot of police and a big to-do. I found out that it was Rosa Parks Human Rights Day and there was a protest march. Now, everyone knows the story of Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat for a white passenger on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama in 1955. This protest seemed to be a mix of causes worldwide, supporting the underdog and struggle. So, it was no surprise when I saw this banner…
Ever since I was a kid, I’d come into Boston and join rallies for peace, against US meddling in other countries, etc. One thing that always stood out was that it didn’t matter whether it was about our involvement in El Salvador or Honduras or any number of other causes; there was always someone burning an Israeli flag. Now, I’m not going to go on some long rant about anti-semitism. But let’s face it. “Zionists” is code for Jews. And “drive out” doesn’t seem like a call for a diplotmatic solution that lets both Israelis and Palestinians live in peace and security.
We could go on and debate the goals of Zionism, the legitimate claims of both sides in the current conflict and the fairness of the current situation. I’m not interested in doing that. Yes. There is legitimate criticism of Israel’s treatment of Palestinians. There are legitimate claims that other Arab states use Palestinians as a pawn in a larger struggle for regional domination and that they have done very little to improve the living conditions of Palestinians themselves. And who really cares whose claims are more legitimate. There are 2 facts on the ground right now: 1. a Jewish state–the only Jewish country on earth–that was sanctioned by the United Nations, and 2. Palestinian arabs, who like the Jews, have established a modern nationalist movement and demand a state of their own. Any real solution will require meeting the needs of both groups (and real comprimise on BOTH sides). A call for expulsion of either group is extreme, racist and doesn’t belong under the umbrella of “Rosa Parks Human Rights Day”. Shame on the organizers for letting marchers threaten the same human rights they claim to support and that the day is supposed to celebrate.
Aliens. No. Not the kind that fly down on space ships, but the kind that sit across from you at the cafe. While they are not one in the same, they are, in fact, connected. Yes, my faithful readers; I’m back on the Boston Scientology beat. Today, one of these auditor dudes sat across from me with his Mac, probably crunching numbers from the last “tests” he administered on Boston area members. And the dude has an uncanny resemblance to one of the aliens he apparently believes in. Yup. Xenu is alive and well and living in Boston.
I always expect to be confronted by a Scientologist on the streets or at one of my usual hangouts. Maybe I’m paranoid, but after originally writing this post back in March and then this one a month later after noticing the worldwide Scientology war escalation (including attacks from Isaac Hayes and Kirstie Alley), I’m just waiting. Whatever they have to say in response, I have just one thing to say back: aliens, dude… aliens!
As I was walking past the International Youth Hostel on Hemenway Street yesterday, I heard a voice call out to me, “Dave.” I looked up to see this guy smoking a cigarette out on the steps. He continued, “I heard you telling that girl the story of your mom doing coke at your Bar Mitzvah. Funny stuff! I’ve told everyone I know that story.” Suddenly, I recall seeing this guy sitting one table over that the cafe in which I hang out. Now, I realize he was listening to our entire conversation. That’s fine, I guess. But isn’t there some kind of eavesdropping etiquette–some sort of list of rules to govern how you use information gathered while observing the social interactions of others?
Granted, sometimes it’s easier when strangers know the personal details of your life, as opposed to close friends. They tend to judge you differently. My friend Kim used to say that she held her most intimate conversations with strangers she met on the bus. Still, the confirmation that this guy was, in fact, listening in–and even knew my name–was a little freaky.
Personally, I would have been a whole lot happier if he hadn’t felt it appropriate to approach me and tell me what he thought of a story I never even told him. But what’s done is done. I suggest that if he really wants to get the most out of the story, he tells it from the first person. It would be a way cooler story if it was his mom doing coke at his Bar Mitzvah and not mine. Or if he’s gonna leave me as the protagonist, at least use it as an opportunity to plug my EP. “I think that sort of life experience led to him writing the brilliant Peace of Mind EP.” Bastard.
Any thoughts on this?
Truth be told, I wanted to connect with everyone, but I’m a little too uninspired to write a focused post today. So, here are some random thoughts in no particular order.
First, what the hell is going on in the Middle East? I am all for Israel being able to defend herself. I lived in Tel Aviv for a few years, and I do love the country, people, cultures, foods, climate, and almost everything about it there–apart from the hate and bigotry on all sides of course. In this case, however, I can’t help but think about how crazy Israel is being. I mean, in almost 20 years of occupation (1982-2000), they weren’t able to eradicate terrorist elements from Southern Lebanon. Do they really think they’re doing anything right now other than inflaming tensions in the area and further entangling themselves in a mess they don’t want to be mired in? As my friend Stephen points out, if they hadn’t been so focused on maintaining that retarded occupation in the West Bank and Gaza, they could have spent more time working with Lebanon to prevent the strengthening of Hezbollah in Southern Lebanon and potentially could have prevented this mess.
To be fair, I also have a message to Hezbollah: 1. There is no god, so isn’t religious fanaticism a little silly? 2. In the words of my friend Bridge, “Stop poking the bear!” I mean picking at scabs on one of the most well armed, dedicated and strong militaries in the world is a little stupid. I don’t care if you are backed by Syria and Iran. It’s still a bad idea.
OK. Enough of this. It’s just that I want to visit my friends in Tel Aviv in the Fall, and I want my humus tasting tour to be uninterrupted.
Next, my friend Mike from Damone was in town this past week. It was really good to see him. They are on tour with the All American Rejects, and it sounds like they’re having a lot of fun. If you haven’t heard their latest CD, you can hear tracks on their MySpace site. Pick up a copy. It’s great!
In Dave Alpert music news, my band and I are playing a big rock show this Saturday (July 29) at TT The Bear’s in Cambridge, MA. We’re opening up for The Teenage Symphonies, a great Boston pop band. It’s their CD release, and we’re psyched to be a part of it. Recent shows have been great. And this one is going to be amazing. The show is 18+, and as you’d expect, Dave Alpert fans are HOT! We go on at 9pm. Come by and join in the fun!
For all you free internet porn fans out there, I read on TechCrunch about a YouTube-like site called PornoTube. It’s just like YouTube, but x-rated. Brilliant.
Finally, for all you people not living in Boston, the weather here is beautiful. The sun is shining. The skin is glistening. And the iced coffee drinks are flowing. Jealous?!
