Dave Alpert: I Know Where You’re Going with That

What happens when you leave your hoodie unattended around Boston rock stars???

Sons of bitches….

Ps: Ulrich… your ass is mine!

Next Thursday (June 3), the band and I have the distinct pleasure of opening for Dennis Brennan at Atwood’s in Cambridge, MA.  Rob, Mariana, Chri$ and I hit the stage at 8:30pm, so come early and stay late!

Hope to see you there!

Some months ago, I met a fellow musician named Dan.  He explained that he’d been a street musician in Switzerland, and that he’d just returned to the states after more than two decades.  Apparently, his gimmick was that he was a one-man band with a truck that acted as his multi-instrument noisemaker.  He described it as a sight to be seen.  According to Dan, after years of success, his truck was confiscated by the Swiss government, and without his money machine, he had no choice but to return to the US.

So, I was delighted to spy him on Newbury Street yesterday with, well, a slightly more compact version of his old getup.

Look at that kid. He’s mesmerized. Dan uses pedals and a stick, which he uses to hit both the guitar and percussion instruments.  He sings through a headset attached to an on-board PA.  And all those stuffed animals dance around to the beat of his kick drum.  As for the performance, he puts on a show that makes kids bouncy and gleeful–and moms part with their money.  Cool.

Whenever you put yourself out there, you’re taking a risk.  If you are a performer, musician, artist or writer, you come to expect harsh criticism, snarky comments, mean-spirited rumors, etc.  Still, you rarely expect to have your life threatened.  Death threats are generally reserved for popes, presidents and high profile superstars.  As a performing musician, I’ve never felt threatened.  There have been a few times when I’ve had to duck out of the way of a fight in progress.  In a bar or rock club, you expect to see more of that–fueled by drugs, alcohol and jealousy.  Ironically, I’ve only felt threatened while blogging in coffee shops.

The first time was when I brought attention to the Boston Chargers scam–first with this article and then this one.  Eventually, Fox 25 News broke the story with this report.  Still, I had received some emails and comments not-so-politely requesting that I stop writing  And given the outpouring of emoton on my blog and emails I received after the Fox 25 report, it was abundantly clear that team members and people involved were following the posts and comments all along.

Today, as I sat here trying to decide on the topic de jour, it presented itself in the form of a 375 lb guy brandishing a knife.  He started opening the blade as he approached me, but suddenly stopped a few feet away and said, “Wanna buy it?”  Then, he approached two girls sitting at the next table as I got up to alert the manager.  He left.  Apparently, we weren’t the first because as the manager ran out the door to find the guy, he found the man surrounded by police near the corner of Huntington Ave.

I said to a friend, “Doesn’t he know I love homeless people?”

He just replied, “Or that you can’t afford a knife?”

Ha ha.

I think I’m going to stick to dive bars and rock music.  It’s too dangerous out here!

Dave Alpert (Dave, Rob, Mariana, Chris and Mark) is in the running for “best emerging artist 2009″ in the Deli Magazine, a cool region-based online music magazine.  Please take a moment and lend us your support.  It literally takes than 30 seconds.

Here’s what you do:

1. go to http://newengland.thedelimagazine.com/

2. find the list on the right site of the page.  You’ll see “Dave Alpert”.

3. click the ‘vote’ button at the bottom of the entire list.

4. vote for us

Thanks for all the love in 2009.  We look forward to rocking you in 2010!!!

Peace,
Dave, Rob, Mariana, Chris and Mark

Scene: Chris and Dave finish a song and a large Irishman approaches the stage with a piece of paper.

Irishman: Can you play the Plains of Kildare?

Chris: No.

Irishman: But this is an Irish bar.

Chris: But I’m Itailan and he’s Jewish.

Scene: Irishman rolls his eyes and walks away

Dave (in mic): An Italian and a Jew playing at an Irish bar… TROUBLE!

Scene: Dave and Chris play A New England by Billy Bragg

THE END 

Upcoming
The next chance to heckle this dynamic duo will be the first 3 Sundays in December at Toad in Cambridge, MA.  We’ll be playing with the full band, including Chuck Vath filling in on bass and backing vocals.  All shows begin at 8pm, right after Sunday Spins. No cover.  So, come early, spin some vinyl and hear us ROCK!

On Saturday, we played another rocking show with our friends–The Organ Beats, Gretel and Tommy Dempsey.  Thanks to everyone who came out and made it a really fun time and a great hang.  Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure.

Dave Alpert (aka me) backed up by Rob, Mark and Joe

Joe Klompus filling in ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

Reva Williams from Gretel sitting in on backing vocals

Rob wetting his whistle on stage.

Reva drinking on stage, seems to be a common theme.

Mark Purrington–our go-to guy when Shuffles can’t make the gig. ROCK!!!

this band rocks!

Come check us out in December at TOAD in Porter Sq.  We’re playing every Sunday (except the 27th) at 8pm with special guests performers and bands.  Come early with your favorite vinyl for Sunday Spins (3:30pm-7pm), and be primed and ready by the time we hit the stage.  Oh, and at TOAD, there is NEVER A COVER–EVER!!! 

Calling all Boston-area music lovers… This is going to be a great night of music with The Organ Beats, Gretel, Tommy Dempsey and Dave Alpert!

Saturday, November 14th, 9pm
Club Bohemia (Cantab Lounge downstairs)
21+. Tickets $8

Lineup:

9pm - Tommy Dempsey

10pm - Gretel

11pm - Dave Alpert

Midnight - The Organ Beats

Last night, I ventured out in the freezing rain and sleet to go to the Burren in Davis Square, Somerville.  I ate a tasty Guinness beef stew with some Irish brown bread, listened to my friends’ music, and drank some beer and Irish whiskey.  (You know, the types of things you do at an Irish bar.)  As I was eating, I turned to my right to see this book sitting on the bar:

The title of the book is Collaborative Therapy with Multi-Stressed Families.  Given my skepticism about social workers and therapists, I was delighted by this sight:  Darn. If only I hadn’t been drinking heavily and texting naked pictures of myself, I’d know what to do in this situation.  “Don’t jump!”  AWESOME!  I’m a songwriter; I’m supposed to be drinking on the job.  There are a few professions that don’t lend themselves to this kind of excess, however.  But, hey, I’m no angel.  It’s actually more bizarre to me that people go out to bars to do their homework, correct papers for their 3rd graders, or read at all.  I’m usually too distracted by beer and boobies to get any serious work done–nor would I want to.

But, apparently, I’m in the minority.  As I looked down the bar, all I could see was people reading:

Well… and texting and drinking and looking around (read: beer and boobies).  In fact, the guy on the other side of me was reading as well, but I got tired of clandestine photo snapping, so you’ll have to trust me without the photographic evidence.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but think about the library “concept bar”.  If there are any investors out there, I’d be happy to take on partners and open a bar called The Lending Library.  You’d apply for a library card the first time you visit.  The menu could be in card catalog form.  The wait staff could all dress up like librarians.  So many possibilities.  And given the anecdotal evidence, I am confident it would go over amazingly well in this town.  I’m sitting on a goldmine of an idea my friends!

So, if you’re interested, drop me a line.  We can meet at a bar to: drink heavily, draw up contracts, write a business plan, do internet research, get on a conference call, listen to music, flirt with girls, do the dishes, make friends, spend money, contemplate life, wax philosophical, make fun of people, text our friends, and…  Ah… Multi-tasking in the age of enlightenment.

I’ve discussed public restrooms previously.  While I’m not obsessed with the subject, I couldn’t help but ponder them again today as I graced the Panera Bread restoom in Coolidge Corner with my “presence”.

Why is it that almost all restrooms have coat hooks in the stalls?

but they NEVER put them in the wash area…

Inevitably, you either have to throw your coat on a bathroom floor, or, more likely, wash your hands with your coat on.  Why not put a hook near the sink?  It will encourage better hygiene and allow patrons to comfortably wash their hands without getting their sleeves wet.  Just some food for thought.  And while you’re contemplating that…

Come hang out tonight!

DAVE ALPERT
Wednesday, Oct 14, 7:30pm
TOAD
1920 Mass Ave, Cambridge, MA (Porter Sq T)
This is the first of 3 early residency shows.  2 sets of acoustic songs–one solo, the other joined by Rob Sistare on guitar.  21+. NO COVER.  Find out more on davealpert.com or on myspace.