I want to start off by apologizing to my loyal readers for my failing to post over the last few months. I’ll try to be better about telling humorous (read: obnoxious) stories online for the world to enjoy and discuss.
Okay, on to some topics of interest…
I love bones. I think the US must be the most boneless country on earth, however. Meat starts out being attached to bones. Now, it’s like they are genetically breeding animals without bones. And boneless buffalo wings are totally stupid. They aren’t even made out of wing meat.
Speaking of bones… I have a bone to pick with performers who get on stage wearing flip-flops. If you want to play music wearing flip-flops, roll yourself a fatty, sit in the back yard and strum away. But in the Stage Clothes Handbook, flip-flops are on the no-fly list before sandals and after clogs. I’m not the only one who thinks that flip-flops can be detrimental to your career. I particularly like this line from the Reuter’s article: “‘Wearing flip-flops conveys the mood that you are relaxed and on vacation. That’s not a good message in the office,’ said Meghan Cleary, a style commentator.”
photo credit: Patrick Schneider, The Charlotte Observer via WPN
Next topic… insane environmentalists. When I started hanging out at Esspreso Royale Caffe in Boston 4 years ago, this much older woman was dating one of my Berklee friends. She talked a lot and only about depressing topics. She was a total punisher. Fast forward to last week. I walked into Porter Square Books to buy a cup of coffee to extinguish the fire in my head, and I saw her standing at the coffee bar.
It took some time to get my coffee, but to my horror, she was still there. I needed some milk and had no choice but to interact. I watched her pick up straws and put them down, grab a fork and drop it, stare at the sugar packet in her hand. Pick up and put down a milk container. So, I joked, “You seem perplexed by the coffee bar.” She said nervously, “Yes. Yes. Perplexed is the right word. I put too much cream in, you see, and then I put in sugar, so now I have sugar on the cream.” She lifted the raw sugar packed and continued, “You can’t even recycle these because they are lined with plastic, and I can’t decide what to use to stir this that will be the most earth friendly, and now, i can’t decide, the fork or the knife [both metal].” I realized that she’s not just annoying; she’s also bat-shit crazy. I interrupted, “Look. If we continue this discussion, I’ll go completely insane.” I made my escape.
But it really got me thinking about environmentalism. We all just want to “have our cake and eat it, too”. It’s not about recycling. The real problem is that we have managed to overpopulate the world at an alarming rate, so that we are consuming at an alarming rate. And we have advanced medicine so much that people are living a long time–far too long if you are REALLY concerned with the environment. If that woman really wants to reduce her carbon footprint, she should just kill herself. According to these life expectancy stats from the CDC, if it were 1900, she’d already be dead. Back then, the life expectancy at birth was 47.3. In 2005, it was 77.8. The additional 30 years of consumption means something. And shouldn’t we start limiting the number of children people have? Remember the crazy octuplets woman:
Wow. Now, that’s a lot of bones. Nuff said.
