Ding-Dong! The Moustache is Dead!

OK.  So as some of you might know, I’ve been experimenting with facial hair lately.  I hate goatees, so I tried my hand at the moustache.  Before the disguise, I was told I look like Jack Osbourne.  With the moustache, I got “Hey!  You look like Ron Jeremy… from the waist UP!”  Thanks.  If I’m going to be likened to a porn star, it might has well be one of the best.

Ron Jeremy

The turning point for me was when my friend Deana said, “Dave Alpert!  You have a moust… eh, a molest-ache!”  (Don’t be alarmed.  Many of my friends call me Dave Alpert.  I’m a brand unto myself.)

Over the past few days, I heard smarmy, child molester, pervert, etc.  My friend Kat suggested that I may never see a woman naked (read: find true love) again.  Heck, I couldn’t even look at myself.  So, this morning, I shaved it into funny shapes to crack myself up and then ultimately shaved the whole thing off.  The deed is done.  I know that many pics were snapped at the Bill’s Bar show, so if you haven’t seen, you’ll get to see me and the Dave Alpert/Ron Jeremy molest-ache soon enough.

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