Baristas: the Most Annoying Service Industry Employees

I know that many of you will point out that this is a known fact and that I’m not going out on a limb.  But, I do have to say: baristas are friggin’ annoying.  And some of my close friends and rehearsal space mates are in the biz.

You see, in a restaurant, the food is the show.  In a bar, alcohol and interesting conversation make up the show.  And in a cafe, caffeine, free WiFi and hanging out with friends contitute the show.  Unfortunately, baristas are under the impression that they are the show and that their job entails overpowering cafes with their annoying inside jokes, outbursts, and philosophies on life, love and biking.  It’s like the cafe is their Greek theater and they must compensate for the lack of microphones by projecting even personal conversations as if they were monologues sung loudly by the chorus. 

I get it: you’re all musicians, artist and actors, and you long for attention and being at center stage.  Me, too.  But, I just paid over $2 for a cup of coffee.  Can you just shut up so I can hear myself think?!

6 Responses to “Baristas: the Most Annoying Service Industry Employees”

  1. Meg Says:

    This is why I work I home (thank you for distracting me with the blog). I hate that shit. Obviously those people suck if they are working at a coffee shop. Fuck em. I can only handle that shit at a bar because I’m drunk and bar people usually talk to the customers in an awesome way.

    Great show last night - btw.

  2. Todd Says:

    yes…how bout a large coffee, and an extra grande shut the hell up.

  3. Ellen Says:

    ha! nice, dave. actually, i think listening to philosophies on life, love, and biking — sung to me by a chorus of ancient greek baristas — could be kind of awesome.

  4. Alison Says:

    Yes, Meg, obviously everyone who works at a coffeeshop sucks. Remember, you’re talking to someone who couldn’t get a job at Whole Foods.

  5. Dave Alpert Says:

    awesome. thanks for reading my blog, alison. whole foods. :) anyway, i was poking fun at some personal friends. still, i stand by my generalization!

  6. Seth Says:

    As a Barista, i can truthfully say that my customers opinions on Life, Love, and other topics ad nauseum come up with much more frequency than mine.

    If you don’t like what were talking about then go talk to your entertaining friends, or utilize the show staring wifi while you wait for us to brew your damn caffeine fix. I certainly wont stop you.

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